Saturday, February 2, 2013

New year.. new me?

I have spent a lot of time thinking lately about what to do with this blog. I had considered erasing almost all my old posts that focused on CWS.. but have ruled against doing that. I'll let it stay as is... but also part of the past where it belongs.  The blog served its purpose, and I got the award I wished to win from it there at CWS... so..that's part of why I'll let it stay up.

Before moving on though, I'll talk a bit about why I left. It became very clear that the whole thing is a big pyramid scheme meant solely to line Anrol's pockets with a never ending flow of lindens. I also read Agency report, and that only cemented what I had already figured in my own head.

The last straw for me.. that got me up and on my way... was that I was IM'd by a model I had met and talked to in a group. She must have decided to look at my profile. cause the first thing she said in IM, was that I should delete all mention of CWS, along with deleting the PICKS of my CWS diploma, and that having mention of CWS in my profile would be doing my modeling career more harm then good. I erased every trace within the next 30 Min's.

Now, I'll explain why I ever joined CWS in the first place.

A long while back, Anrol posted a group message that asked for contestants to enter a photo contest she was hosting. Part of the requirement was to buy a gown she designed, and to submit two photos of us styling the gown in different ways. One of the photos was to be the full gown itself, and the second photo should show the short skirt option that came with the gown. A friend of mine helped with taking the pictures, I filled out the entry form and attached the photos and sent in my entry.

Soon I was contacted and was told my entry was picked as top ten, and that I was invited to the next phase of the contest, on her runway.

So that day arrives and I land backstage, and as soon as I rezzed in, I looked out the runway, and it became very clear in that moment, that I had no idea what to do, nor how to walk the runway. I asked other models back there, and I remember the names of the friendly ones... and I also remember who wasn't. So, I asked for help.. and some tried giving me a quick mini lesson on what to do, and I figured the best advice.. was to watch and learn.. the models that were called ahead of me. I am a fast student.. I merely needed ONE name to be called before me..and I would have learned at least the general walk and stops out there, but.. JOKE was on me... I am rather sure Anrol was notified about the newbie backstage that was clueless and was begging the others to help her... and that I had decided that I'd learn by watching the first model,or so, that went out before me... guess what? there was NO person called before me..
NOOO... I walked out there.... right past the first stop... walked a general semi circle in front of the judges and audience, and then kept on breezing my way, straight back up the runway to walk back off stage... only I picked the wrong exit to go back.
 I tp'd myself backstage again, quickly changed to the next outfit, and then watched the remaining models... to see what I did wrong. Next round, I at least stopped in the right stops... stayed there for the right many seconds, before moving to the next stop... and then walked back off the way I was supposed to. Didn't have any poses, Didn't know I needed any.

I for sure KNEW in my heart, when I first landed, that I had no chance of winning, and I was fine with it, BUT, I for sure didn't need to be made to be Anrol's, and everyone Else's entertainment for the night either. I didn't deserve the humiliation... and I walked away from the experience, Hurt, angry, and very determined that I'd NEVER be interested in SL modeling ever again.

And, well That's how it was for several months, and then most of what I felt, eventually eased, other then anger at Anrol. I became determined to prove her wrong for treating me that way.

I asked a model that I knew was part of CWS for help, and she taught me the styling runway walk... (The one I had failed at months earlier) And I learned it, like all the rest of Anrols  cute lil trained  monkeys. I began entering the nightly styling contests, and rather soon I began winning.

I was informed in one of those styling contests that I was being offered a scholarship to the CWS university. And so, I accepted... and I went to every class... and made friends with several of the teachers, and I worked my ass off... to be the BEST student in that class. And I made myself proud.
And graduation rolled around and the best part of that whole day was seeing Anrol announce me as the winner of that classes best blog.

I have no Idea on if I ever proved to Anrol that she was wrong in treating me the way she did, but I no longer care either. Am rather sure it didn't faze her, cause  there's just no changing that woman, and the things she finds as funny... not so funny at all. Humor at the expense of another humans feelings is just plain awful.
So, this is my GOOD BYE CWS... message.. and I won't be mentioning them ever again in the future.

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